Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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