scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
