i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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