Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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