he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
