Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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