Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
