I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
