I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize