The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
