Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
