Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
