Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ketchup is God's man juice
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
