ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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