You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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