I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
