I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
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