There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
