oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
