bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize