you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
