farters have to be the big spoon...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize