Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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