I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
