I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
