She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
