I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
