she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
