we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
