Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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