His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Found the puke drawer
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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