I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
