We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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