I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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