i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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