Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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