some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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