So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
