Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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