I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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