he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
