i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
