playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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