I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
