I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
