eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
