Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
