Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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