I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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