we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
