What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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