Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize