Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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