I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
