mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I didn't notice because vodka
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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