What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
