Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
