We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
