Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
