I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
