Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
