True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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