We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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