I skipped work to stalk him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
