i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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