Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
