apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
