I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
