just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
