Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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