I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
