the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize