Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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