But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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